"Involuntarily Suspended" (Am I Laid Off?)

Here's a perplexing story someone just shared with me...

After nearly three decades as a technical manager at a large corporation, a guy has become newly retired...but involuntarily.

According to my source, here's how it went down...

The manager's company was bought out by a competitor. A boss from the new parent company called this guy in to tell him he'd been "involuntarily suspended".

The guy asked if that meant he was fired or laid off.

The boss said no...just "just involuntarily suspended". (Welcome to The Memorandum. Speak Ptydepe anyone?)

Apparently, the guy is still trying to figure out what that means, what he's entitled to and what he should tell people when they ask, "Why'd you leave (nameless) company?"

Is it possible that this company's intention was to keep "the downsized" in the gray about their status, perhaps to soften the blow or confuse the fact that people were being laid off? Or did they intend to communicate clearly and sensitively, but fumbled? What do you think?

I Googled "involuntary suspension" and none of the connotations sounded good. I read about involuntary suspensions of insurance policies, contracts...and involuntary suspension of employees or students for bad behavior. But this guy's boss said he wasn't being fired or laid off.

I had a friend who was a pilot in the 90s who was given a furlough (involuntary leave). But this blog post by a pilot describes that when the airlines were in trouble, they furloughed their most junior employees, to be fair.

Back to the thirty-year vet who was involuntarily suspended from his corporate job.

If he isn't a poor performer, he isn't getting fired or laid off, if he's not being furloughed because of lack of seniority...what is it? Is this a potential discrimination law suit? And how many people is this guy going to tell about his bad experience with a company he's given 30 years to?

A good, simple lesson for all companies and business people:

• Say what you mean if you don't have anything to hide.
• Communicate clearly. Fuzzy messages leave much to interpretation. People are likely to imagine the worst.
• Don't burn bridges, with good employees, job candidates or anyone else if you can help it. (Who knows...this guy might have a talented niece or nephew that this company may want to recruit someday. Good luck.)
  
  
  Copyright 2008. Phyllis Roteman. The Loyalty Group. Sherman Oaks, CA.

I Don't WANNA Be Coached! (What to do when employees don't want coaching.)

You know who they are. They’re the employees who squirm when you mention having a coaching discussion with them. They’re always “busy” when you want to talk about their development or give them some feedback. And when you do get a coaching meeting scheduled, they placate you by nodding their heads compliantly – or sit silently – anything to get the meeting over with.

They're reluctant coachees.

I asked some of my colleagues who are professional executive coaches what they do with someone who doesn't seem to want coaching. Not surprisingly, they all said that they don't coach unwilling participants. You can't coach someone who doesn't want to be helped.

I agree with that. But if you're a manager or in an internal (corporate) coaching role, it may not be that easy. You can't simply "turn down" coaching gigs when coaching is part of your job. So what do you do, as a manager or internal coach, when faced with people who resist your help?

It's not like you don't have any options. You can always avoid them, focusing your attention on those employees who really want your help. Or you can just fire them.

Before writing these people off as just "difficult", however, try to diagnose why they resist your help. Once you understand what's behind the resistance, you'll be better equipped to address it. If nothing else, you may find that you're just dealing with a difficult, stubborn person who refuses help and needs to seek other employment. At least you'll know.

Here are five common reasons that people resist coaching.

1. The Veteran Aura

This works two ways. Seasoned employees may be afraid to let it be known that they need coaching. After all, they've been around. Other employees probably ask them for advice. They view coaching as something that's for newbies, not them.

Managers often fuel this perception by leaving veterans alone. "They don't need my help," they think. Or they wonder, "What value can I add? The veteran's been here longer than me!"

The downside to this cycle is two-fold. One, veterans without coaching may plateau and never reach their full potential. We all get stale and form bad habits over the years. By leaving veterans alone, you're not doing them a favor. In fact, you're depriving them of the opportunity to learn and be challenged - and holding your company back from reaching its growth potential.

The other downside is that veterans who aren't coached may feel ignored, which can lead to poor morale or even turnover. An ignored employee is ripe pickings for a recruiter working for the competition. Most veterans won't say that they feel ignored or isolated, because they don't want to sound needy. But everyone likes to be recognized. Providing good coaching shows that you care and are interested in what the veteran is doing.

2. Been Burned in the Past

When you hire people or inherit a team, everyone brings their old baggage. If people on your team had poor managers in the past (who led through intimidation or used coaching as an excuse to criticize), don't expect them to welcome your coaching with open arms. They've got trust issues - and being coached requires a lot of trust.

It's a lot like personal relationships. Once bitten, twice shy. If you marry and divorce an overbearing spouse who is a control-freak, you're likely to be turned off by future dating prospects with strong personalities. It's a natural human response to being burned.

You can find out if "been burned in the past" is an issue by simply talking to your team members. Ask, "Tell me a little about how your last manager coached you and gave feedback," "What did or didn't you like about how that coaching relationship went?" Or, "I want this coaching relationship to be effective. How do you like to be coached?" This type of dialogue can clear the air about any bad past experiences with coaching, and give you a fresh start by establishing new expectations for your coaching relationship.

3. They Don't Know How to Participate

It may sound odd, but some people just don't know how to receive coaching. These may be the people that sit silently during coaching discussions, nodding their heads occasionally (like bobbleheads) and contributing little. It may be that they don't know what they're supposed to do in a coaching discussion. Or they may think that coaching means that you tell them what to do.

If you expect your team members to participate in their coaching discussions, you should set that expectation. Don't assume that your "picture" of coaching is the same as the employee's picture. You can set clear expectations by:
Letting them know, before the discussion, why you want to talk and the agenda for the coaching conversation.

• Explaining clearly what you expect of them during the discussion. ("I expect that this will be a two-way dialogue where we can tackle this problem together.")
• Being clear about how to prepare for the coaching meeting. ("I'd like to to bring your financial analysis and projections for the next three months, and any supporting data you'd like me to see, so we can go through it together.")
• Asking them what they'd like to get from the coaching discussion

4. Personal Issues (Out of your control.)

Sometimes, people just don't want to be helped and you can't do anything about it. This should be your last conclusion, after you've explored tested other theories and tried various approaches. And as my executive coaching friends point out, you can't coach someone who just doesn't want it.

5. Look in the Mirror (It may be you!)

It isn't easy to think about, but sometimes the problem is us (I include myself in this, even though I think I'm a pretty good coach). Coaching isn't easy. It takes a consultative mindset, patience, emotional intelligence - and a whole lot of skill and practice. You may need a coaching tune-up or some pointers, like the ones offered in TLG's thinktwice Coaching Cards. Remember, you're a role model for the people you coach. When you start with yourself - and show that you're able to work on your coaching skills - you're sending the message that "everyone needs coaching...even the coach!"

Copyright 2008. Phyllis Roteman. The Loyalty Group. Sherman Oaks, CA.

Praise to the "Me" Generation

"I can't deny the fact that you like me...you like me!"

These words, delivered with elation by Sally Field when she won a Best Actress Oscar for Places in the Heart, reveal the depth of a performer's need for recognition.

In the work world, it seems we have our own brand of love-starved performers: the "me" generation.

A podcast last week on NPR discussed how the 20-somethings now flooding our workplaces are fueled by constant praise. Experts cited in the story theorize that this trait was instilled by this generation's parents - whose parenting style was more focused on building self-esteem than on objective self-appraisal. Kids that grew up in the late 80s and 90s often played in sports leagues where there were no losers (everyone got trophies), strong discipline was frowned upon, and kids got praise for everything including getting up for school or getting dressed (things they're supposed to do anyway).

We All Like Praise, But How Much?

When these praise-hungry kids grew up and entered the workforce, their expectations of authority figures were high. As a result, managers have had to look for reasons to lavish recognition on younger employees who need regular pats on the back to stay engaged. ("Congrats on meeting that deadline." "Thank you for showing up for work on time." "You're really smart.")

Some may argue that every worker likes positive feedback. True. The questions are: "How much?" "How often?" and "For what?"

Research into "Generation Me" shows that overall, this younger group of workers typically needs more positive stroking, more often, for more types of behaviors to stay motivated.

The Implication for Managers

The impact on managers' jobs can be significant. If you manage people today, you've got to go out of your way to look for positives to praise, even if you're busy or under pressure.

Managers: challenge your own principles. Below are attitudes that won't work anymore for managers who lead younger workers:

• "I had to work hard without much praise. Younger employees need to suck it up and work hard too, like I did."

• "I don't have time to babysit and pat people on the back for every little thing they do. I'm too busy for that."

• "I feel phoney giving out praise for little things. I don't give a lot of thanks, but when I do, I mean it."

• "They should feel lucky that they have a good job, benefits and decent pay! That should be enough to keep them motivated!"

While there's validity to all of these beliefs, they just may not work today. Managers who cling to these principles may quickly find themselves losing young employees to managers who dole out a daily dose of praise.


© 2007. Phyllis Roteman, The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.

The Toxic Employee...Another Perspective

Yesterday I wrote a post about Toxic People. My premise was that some people are just miserable and spread negativity to everyone who comes in contact with them. Keith Harrell calls this, "toxic negativity."

Interestingly, today's CareerBuilder online newsletter has an article about the hidden costs of keeping a "bad" employee. Here's a taste:

"A bad employee can be like cancer within a company. Strong negativism, a poor attitude, backbiting, and incompetence can spread quickly within any organization. Co-workers of a bad employee notice the issues and
typically try to fight off catching the negative traits. However, such traits are contagious and can severely hurt or even kill a company. A bad employee will eventually affect your employees, customers, and product/service's quality."

This is exactly what I meant in my earlier post about toxic (cancerous) people.

What I like about the CareerBuilder post is takes a different perspective on the cause of toxic people's negativity. It points out that negativity can be caused by the workplace - specifically, a bad fit with the job. Can a perfectly happy, good person become toxic in a bad work environment, or in a job that isn't right for them? Absolutely.

Think about waking up every morning for work, with your stomach turning, knowing you've got to spend the next eight or nine hours in a place you hate. Perhaps you have an hour commute each way...two hours to stew in traffic and think about work that you despise. Or perhaps you're in the wrong job all together. You're in over your head, and you know it. Your performance isn't good, your boss knows it and so do your coworkers. You struggle to get through every work day. Could this make a normally happy person toxic and negative? You bet.

So maybe we should have empathy for negative people. Maybe they're not "bad" people after all. The trick (particulary in the workplace) is...empathize without letting them drag you and others down.

© 2007. Phyllis Roteman, The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.

Beware Workplace Bobble-Heads (Part 2)

In a previous post I wrote about bobble-heads in the workplace. These are people - your customers, employees or managers - who bob their heads as if they're listening and agreeing while you talk.

But they're not agreeing. Their silence and blank stares are a cover for boredom, confusion, defiance, doubt or some other emotion they're not willing to share with you.

As promised, this post provides tips for communicating with head-bobbers and finding out what they're really thinking.


Know it when you see it.

Could the problem be you? When you're in a meeting, sales presentation or conversation and you're doing most of the talking, watch for the steady head bob. Look for glazed-over eyes. These are signs that you might have unintentionally lulled your audience into a head-bobbing coma (they've tuned out or decided that they disagree with you). It sounds pretty basic, but you'd be surprised how many "talkers" (salespeople, presenters, managers) get in their groove and forget that other people may not be listening.

Shut up (Let there be silence)

Silence can be as powerful as a scream. Just stop talking. The head-bobber will snap to attention.

Ask open-ended questions

This is a good follow-up to silence...the old one-two combination. Pause and let there be a moment of silence. Then ask an open-ended question to reengage the head-bobber. Some of my favorite open-ended questions (that require more than a yes/no or one-word answer) are:

• "How do you feel about this idea?"


• "What are you thinking at this point?"


• "What's your perspective on this issue?"

Ask them to summarize

You're leading a meeting. At the end, you wrap up by summarizing: "So here's what I'll do...and here's what you'll do...we'll meet again at X date...etc." And everyone else is head-bobbing while you rattle off your summary. Why not turn the tables and ask the other person to summarize what they've heard? Some good summary questions are:

• "I've been doing a lot of the talking so far. What do you feel are the most important points?"


• "What are three things that you take away from this meeting?"


• "What do you think should be our next steps?"
  

Look in the mirror

Are you a head-bobber? You may be, without even realizing it. The next time you're in a long meeting, listening to a salespitch or getting feedback you don't agree with...check yourself. Are you nodding as if in compliance because it's easier than speaking up? Ask a question. Disagree. Do yourself and the speaker a favor and just say something.

© 2007. Phyllis Roteman, The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.

Is it OK to Cry at Work?

Early in my career I had a colleague (let's call her Liza) who was a self-professed "crier". She was young, professional and competent. But when she became angry, frustrated or felt backed into a corner, the water-works would start. I remember one day Liza left our boss' office after receiving her performance review. I asked her how it went. She said, "We're just on a break. We stopped because I was crying. I'm humiliated."

No matter how hard Liza tried to choke back the tears, she couldn't. It made her feel weak and stupid - she didn't want to be crying - but she claimed that she just couldn't control it. I felt so bad for her. It was hard enough back then for a young female professional to get respect in the consulting world. Tears just made it near impossible.

I bring this story up because today's Wall Street Journal online edition has an article by Sue Shellenbarger headlined, Crying at Work Gains Acceptance. In it, Shellengbarger makes the case that the proliferation of Gen Y'ers in today's workplace is making it more acceptable to show emotions, including crying. The article says that the younger generation is generally more in touch with feelings than baby boomers - and that clashes between more stoic older bosses and more sensitive younger workers are ensuing in the workplace.

So will crying be "cool" at work? Will managers get promoted for their open sensitivity and ability to openly shed tears? Is crying really gaining acceptance at work?

I think this remains to be seen. A few things I question:

- Even if people (including those interviewed for the WSJ article) claim that they accept crying at work, I wonder what they actually feel about it. I'd like to think that I'm an open, accepting person and wouldn't judge someone who cried at work...but subconsciously, would I feel differently? Would I somehow see the person as weak? (I'm not sure, but I guess it would depend on the circumstances and why the person was crying.)

- I wonder how many of my clients would want their consultant to cry in front of them...or worse yet, in front of a group of their leaders. My bet is that while a client might feel sorry or embarassed for the consultant, they'd be a lot less confident in that individual - and may question their "emotional toughness" or tolerance for stress. Let's face it. There are some situations where crying is just bad for your image and can be damaging.

- When does crying become a real problem? Sure, most of us have felt like crying after we've received bad feedback or had a particularly horrible day. But if an employee cries at seemlingly inappropriate times (for example, he makes a typo or she spills her coffee) and it happens frequently, there might be an underlying issue.

- What can tears tell you? I recently had a client, a sales manager, tell me about a new hire who was a terrific salesperson. She was blowing away her numbers in the first few months on the job. Yet when the manager did her ride-alongs with the rep in the field, she found that the rep would cry before and after every customer call. When the manager asked the rep why she was crying, the rep said, "I'm terrified of making calls. I feel sick to my stomach before I make every call...and then I feel so relieved after the call, I feel sick again!" Needless to say, this rep's crying betrayed an underlying, serious issue - she hated her job even though she was great at it.

Crying at work may be gaining some acceptance...but I wouldn't yet say there's a crying revolution at work. Like any other expression of emotion (yelling, laughing loudly, cursing) - there's a right time and right place. And some very wrong times and places.

© 2006 The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.

Are you an EXTREME Talker?

Want to lose credibilty really fast? Talk in extremes.

Here's an example. I was just reading a white paper on performance management. I was engaged and thinking "this is really good stuff." Then I came across this sentence:

"Training never provides managers with the practical tools they need to set clear objectives with their teams."

What's wrong with the word "never"?

Subconsciously, the word just begs to be refuted. As soon as I see or hear an "extreme" word like never (or always, or nobody), I immediately try to think of a contradiction. (Perhaps this is my contrarian nature...am I the only one who thinks this way?)

There are very few things in life that are absolute, so words like "never", "always" or "nobody" should be used cautiously and sparingly. When you do use them, be aware that other people may, like me, question your credibility and become distracted.

Here are some scenarios that demonstrate credibility-damaging extreme talking, and alternative statements that give speakers more credibility.

Scenario 1:

Salesperson says: "We've never had an unhappy customer."
Customer thinks: "Oh really...I don't believe you. NEVER?"

Alternative:

Salesperson says: "Our customer surveys show that they're are happy with our work. We score a 9.5 out of a possible 10 average."

Scenario 2:

Manager says: "Remember that the customer is always right."
New customer service rep thinks: "Gimme a break!"

Alternative:

Manager says: "Even if we disagree with customers, we must still be
respectful and try to make them happy."

Scenario 3: (During a product development meeting)

Team member: "Nobody will ever use that technology!"
Rest of team: "We can think of lots of people who WOULD!"

Alternative:

Team member: "I'm sure there will be some customers who would adopt this technology. My concern is that there won't be enough volume, and the price point won't be high enough, to justify our investment."

© 2006 The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.

Sell to Who You Hire...and Who You Don't

I just read a great BusinessWeek article that reminds companies that their recruitment and selection processes are marketing tools. More companies should remember this.

You can enhance or erode your company's brand by the image you convey at each step of the recruitment and selection processes. Think about it. Every prospective candidate is a customer. You're evaluating them, and they're forming impressions about your company. Ask yourself (and others), "What does our process say about our company?"

Here's something we at The Loyalty Group did to build our brand with prospective job candidates. One of the things we value is giving back to the community. We want to work with people and companies who care about others and our society. To send this message, in our recruitment advertisements, we advertised as a benefit that we donate $500 at the end of each year to each employee's charity of choice. Of course, we must approve each charitable cause and won't allow anything political, religious or highly controversial. The point is - it's imporant to our company - and we wanted to hire people who valued "giving" and social responsiblity as a benefit.

It's amazing how many job candidates told us how excited they were to interview with us, specifically because of that benefit. We heard over and over again that it "said a lot about our company." Even those who weren't hired by us left the process knowing what our company stands for.

Think about your employment brand. What is your hiring process saying about your company?

Majority of Employees Don't Seek Boss' Advice. Why Worry?

A recent article in Chief Learning Officer's online magazine has the headline, "Majority of Employees Don't Seek Advice from Boss." Is this news?

The article cites research from CO2 Partners, whose President, Gary Cohen, states that “someone’s immediate report would be the logical starting place for advice..."

Really? I'm not at all surprised that only about 10% of survey respondents ask their supervisors for advice on workplace issues. Even when employee-manager relationships are at their best, it is still a direct-reporting relationship. There are some issues that are best discussed with a peer or mentor, particularly if the issue is one involving the supervisor. Peer-coaching makes an organization strong and encourages networking. It discourages employees from becoming too dependent on their supervisors for advice and answers.

Employees seeking advice from others (rather than their supervisors) only becomes a problem when issues are being side-stepped and conversations with the boss are being avoided. Asking peers or mentors for advice should never replace candid, regular performance discussions with supervisors.

What do you think?

How to Select Job Candidates with Integrity (Pay Attention to Clues)

In the film Meet the Parents, Robert DeNiro's character is a parent/ex-CIA agent who is known as a "human lie detector." Although he had a real polygraph machine in his basement, he didn't need it. He could just tell when people were lying by talking to them. He would have made a great interviewer.

It seems to be getting harder to find job candidates who have strong integrity. Candidates who are "integrity-challenged" don't necessarily have criminal records, shifty eyes or sweaty palms. They may be normal-looking (even highly skilled) employees who hide mistakes or blame others, take credit for other people's work, violate copyrights intentionally or sabotage others when upset.

In our company's Selection in Action training, managers often ask us, "What can we do as hiring managers to select for integrity and weed out those who lack it?" The easy answer is...there is no easy answer.

The best we can do is set up an effective selection system that has validated, built-in assessments for integrity, including psychological testing, behavioral interviewing and simulations.

However, even the best selection system can suffer from human error. Think about it. Well-built cars don't have accidents. Drivers have accidents. The same goes for selection systems. Well-built selection systems rarely make mistakes. Hiring managers who use selection systems have accidents. The biggest "accident" a hiring manager can make in the selection process is ignoring the objective data that a strong selection process provides.

If your selection system is set up properly, candidates who lack integrity will give clues throughout the selection process. They won't come out and tell you that they lack integrity - they probably won't admit to lying, cheating or sabotaging others. Here are some examples of what you might see and hear during a selection process, that are clues to a candidate's questionable integrity:

- Denying that they've made mistakes in the past or that they've had failures. When candidates consistently make comments such as, "I haven't ever had a big failure or disappointment," or "I haven't had a conflict at work. I always get along with everybody," you know they're not telling the truth. If you hire them, don't expect them to own up to mistakes in the workplace.

- Showing up late for phone calls and interviews, rescheduling appointments, not following up as promised...and making excuses. No matter how much you love these candidates or how "perfect" they are for the job, don't ignore how they behave during the selection process. This is your best clue as to how they'll actually behave when you hire them.

- Telling stories about how they achieved a positive result, but cut corners or "fudged the truth" to get the result. As hiring managers, it's easy to be blinded by candidates' stories of making customers happy, saving the company money or making a sale. Don't ignore how they got those results. For example, a sales candidate who closed a million dollar contract at her last job may make a sales hiring manager salivate. But don't forget to ask how the candidate got that million dollar sale. Did she have to overpromise deliverables to get the sale? Did the sale actually cost the company money because the margins weren't high enough? Did she exaggerate her company's capabilities, or sweeten the deal with unauthorized "freebies", to close the sale? Dig deep and pay attention to the whole story.

Of course, none of this is a guarantee that you'll hire the perfect candidate with impeccable integrity. Like motivations or personal values, integrity isn't something you can see easily. But you can become more like DeNiro's "human lie detector" by engaging your integrity radar and paying attention to the clues candidates drop during the selection process. Chances are, candidates who are lacking integrity will subtly reveal themselves if you pay attention to the signs.

And remember, most people are good. Assume that people have integrity until they show you otherwise. Try to be smart and objective when hiring...without being cynical or prejudging.

©2006 The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved. www.TheLoyaltyGroup.com

Charisma...Are We Influenced?

When I saw that my Monday morning LA Times included a feature article on charisma called The "It" Factor, I braced myself for a fluffy story about skinny Hollywood "it girls" or Brad and Angelina's new baby. Refreshingly, it wasn't. In fact, it was a well-researched, substantial article in the Times Health section that has a lot of relevance to being a manager in the corporate world (or "non-entertainment world" as we call it in Los Angeles).

Not surprisingly, the experts say that charisma is an inherent trait, like creativity. Some of us are born with more of it than others. Yet the article by Janet Cromley also makes the case that people can learn to be more charismatic. Imagine the potential impact on the training profession. Some consulting company is going to make a bundle marketing a training course that teaches managers, salespeople and executives to be more charismatic. "Charisma 101." A kind of charm school for Jack Welch, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Tom Cruise wanna-be's.

I joke, but in fact it makes sense. To some extent, charisma can be taught. Break "charisma" down into its components and what do you see? Good listening. Passion. Eye contact. Enthusiasm. Mirroring the person with whom you're speaking. Confidence. Some of these are behaviors that can be learned with practice (for example, making strong eye contact or modeling confident body language). And a good therapist (or coach) can help improve self-esteem, boost confidence and develop a more positive attitude.

Still, I believe that it's like any other trait. Don't count on any charisma-boot camp working miracles on someone who's lacking impact. If you hire an uptight, type-A manager...all of the training and coaching in the world is unlikely to change her disposition. If you choose to marry a slob hoping to change them into a neatnick, you'll likely end up divorcing a slob someday.

Work your talents. If you've got charisma, go for it and use it for good. If you don't have it, find other ways to compensate. Capitalize on your smarts, your analytical ability, your tell-it-like-it-is communication style or your ablity to nurture and develop talent. And if a good charisma course comes your way, give it a shot. You probably won't emerge a Ronald Reagan or a Martin Luther King, but you can pick up a few tips to improve your impact.

What do you think? Who's the most charismatic person you've ever met...and what made them that way?

©2006 The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved. www.TheLoyaltyGroup.com