So You Want to Hire a Guru?

In the old roadrunner cartoons, Wile E. Coyote had a business card. It said:

Wile E. Coyote, Genius

Now I can't say that I've been handed a business card with a "Genius" title on it. But I have come across a lot of self-proclaimed "Gurus" lately.

I'm a member of the professional networking site, LinkedIn . Just for fun, I ran a search of my network (contacts and my contacts' contacts) to see how many people call themselves gurus. I found 53. Outside of my network, there were hundreds more.

Gurus galore.

There were your run-of-the-mill gurus. Marketing gurus. Sales gurus.

And there were some highly specialized gurus. I found a "70s music guru", lots of "recruitment gurus" and a "dp api guru" who worked for a major software company.

It seems that many companies want to hire gurus as consultants, usually with a heavy price tag...to motivate the troops or work some kind of magic in the organization. Gurus are often seen as a quick fix. They are expected to fly in like bees, speak at a conference or talk to an executive team, pollinate their people with magic dust, then jettison out.

So what makes someone a guru? Here's a definition from Answers.com:

"An advisor or teacher. The term, which comes from Hinduism, refers to a spiritual teacher. 'Gu' means darkness, and 'ru' means light; thus a guru turns ignorance into enlightenment.

In the west, the term has been interpreted quite often as simply an expert in a field, whether that person helps you learn or understand anything or not."

So let's say your company is looking to hire a guru - a high-powered consultant, speaker or advisor. How do you know you're really getting a guru (someone who can turn ignorance into enlightenment)...and not some self-proclaimed genius who decided to quit corporate life and hang out a "guru" shingle?

Here are some tips for hiring a guru for your business:

• Beware of people who call themselves gurus. As my husband says, "Any self-respecting guru would be embarassed about being called a guru." (Can you imagine great people like Martin Luther King, Albert Einstein or Vince Lombardi calling themselves gurus?)

• Peel back the layers. When you think you've found your guru, ask lots of questions to make sure there's substance beneath the surface. Many consultants and "experts" talk a good game (like salespeople), but lack the smarts or common sense to deliver results. Don't be afraid to ask tough questions to make sure you've found the right person.

• Set realistic expectations. If you're expecting to hire a guru to work miracles in your organization, you're setting yourself up for disappointment (and wasted money). Be clear about why you want to bring in a guru. Is it to motivate the troops for a day? Do you want behavior or cultural change in your organization? Or do you just want a smart person to come in and talk tough to your leadership team? Before engaging your guru, ask yourself, "Is this really what we need...and will it really solve our problems?" Or are we just looking for a quick fix?
  

© 2007. Phyllis Roteman, The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.

Is it OK to Cry at Work?

Early in my career I had a colleague (let's call her Liza) who was a self-professed "crier". She was young, professional and competent. But when she became angry, frustrated or felt backed into a corner, the water-works would start. I remember one day Liza left our boss' office after receiving her performance review. I asked her how it went. She said, "We're just on a break. We stopped because I was crying. I'm humiliated."

No matter how hard Liza tried to choke back the tears, she couldn't. It made her feel weak and stupid - she didn't want to be crying - but she claimed that she just couldn't control it. I felt so bad for her. It was hard enough back then for a young female professional to get respect in the consulting world. Tears just made it near impossible.

I bring this story up because today's Wall Street Journal online edition has an article by Sue Shellenbarger headlined, Crying at Work Gains Acceptance. In it, Shellengbarger makes the case that the proliferation of Gen Y'ers in today's workplace is making it more acceptable to show emotions, including crying. The article says that the younger generation is generally more in touch with feelings than baby boomers - and that clashes between more stoic older bosses and more sensitive younger workers are ensuing in the workplace.

So will crying be "cool" at work? Will managers get promoted for their open sensitivity and ability to openly shed tears? Is crying really gaining acceptance at work?

I think this remains to be seen. A few things I question:

- Even if people (including those interviewed for the WSJ article) claim that they accept crying at work, I wonder what they actually feel about it. I'd like to think that I'm an open, accepting person and wouldn't judge someone who cried at work...but subconsciously, would I feel differently? Would I somehow see the person as weak? (I'm not sure, but I guess it would depend on the circumstances and why the person was crying.)

- I wonder how many of my clients would want their consultant to cry in front of them...or worse yet, in front of a group of their leaders. My bet is that while a client might feel sorry or embarassed for the consultant, they'd be a lot less confident in that individual - and may question their "emotional toughness" or tolerance for stress. Let's face it. There are some situations where crying is just bad for your image and can be damaging.

- When does crying become a real problem? Sure, most of us have felt like crying after we've received bad feedback or had a particularly horrible day. But if an employee cries at seemlingly inappropriate times (for example, he makes a typo or she spills her coffee) and it happens frequently, there might be an underlying issue.

- What can tears tell you? I recently had a client, a sales manager, tell me about a new hire who was a terrific salesperson. She was blowing away her numbers in the first few months on the job. Yet when the manager did her ride-alongs with the rep in the field, she found that the rep would cry before and after every customer call. When the manager asked the rep why she was crying, the rep said, "I'm terrified of making calls. I feel sick to my stomach before I make every call...and then I feel so relieved after the call, I feel sick again!" Needless to say, this rep's crying betrayed an underlying, serious issue - she hated her job even though she was great at it.

Crying at work may be gaining some acceptance...but I wouldn't yet say there's a crying revolution at work. Like any other expression of emotion (yelling, laughing loudly, cursing) - there's a right time and right place. And some very wrong times and places.

© 2006 The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.

How to Drive Your Clients Crazy

Dear Fellow Consultants,

How many times have you said, "My clients are driving me CRAZY!"? Well, now you can get them back - give them a taste of their own medicine - by driving them crazy. Read below to discover the secrets all good consultants know. These are our top four ways to bug the hell out of your clients.

• Pepper your conversations with "consultantisms": A recent article in Consulting Times (page 10) cites a survey listing the most annoying phrases used by consultants. Topping the list were: going forward, leverage, core values, on the same page, paradigm (my PERSONAL unfavorite) and synnergy. Use these at every opportunity, even in your personal life.

• Maximize complexification: Take a really simple concept and make it sound difficult and complex. Watch your clients nod their heads, as if they understand. They probably won't ask what you mean, so you're off the hook to explain yourself.

• Dazzle em' with longer words and sentences: According to Language Monitor, there were approximately 988,968 words in the English language as of March 21, 2006. So why not use as many as possible? Instead of saying "before," why not say, "prior to"? Instead of saying "use," say "utilize". Why use the word "to" when you can say "in order to"? Instead of talking about change, why not talk about "shifting paradigms"? (This is a bonus because you're using one of the top annoying words!) When strung together, you can create one long sentence that will leave your clients scratching their heads. For example, Prior to the utilization of technology to manage shifting paradigms, aligning intangible organizational requirements with nebuluous customer-defined specifications in order to capitalize on opportunities had been challenging. (Say what?)

• When questioned, go on the attack: After all, you are the expert. Your clients hired you because you're smart and you know more than them. Don't let them threaten your credibility by asking you questions or challenging your recommendations. If you back down, you'll be perceived as weak. Instead, show your superiority by going on the offensive. Make sure to point out how long you've been in the business and your past successes ("I've been doing this for a million years." "When I invented the Internet...") If that doesn't get them to back down, act indignant and suggest that "if they don't trust you, maybe we shouldn't work together." They should be crawling back in no time.

A personal disclaimer: We at The Loyalty Group, Los Angeles, pride ourselves on keeping things simple and straight-forward. This blog entry does not reflect our approach, philosophy or practices. We love and respect our clients!

© 2006 The Loyalty Group. All Rights Reserved.